Love liFe!

There are many things I have felt in the past month. I've felt freedom once again, I have seen that college is about experience. I want to go out and not be worried of what my boyfriend is going to think or say. I want to make out with random guys I meet at parties and just have fun with my friends and laugh about what happened last night. I have thought so much about what my next move is going to be? should i go study abroad? should I graduate in the Fall? I want to go to Spain and see the world! I want to taste new flavors.

I never have thought before or noticed how much a relationship takes so much of your time. After I broke up with Carlos I found out that school was actually fun, I was doing better then I have done before and I had more time to do the things I wanted to do instead of thinking what is my next move with Carlos and giving him my attention. I think it is so funny how better I am off with out him. Lali was right, even though he has been apart of my life for so long, it was time to let him go. Maybe I'll talk to him again in the future, but right now I see no point, it's not necessary to even think about it. I also realized that I was the only one putting effort into the relationship and he was just enjoying the ride. I deserve someone who is going to put in the effort to make me happy and put the same effort that I will put in myself. One day I will meet that person, one day.

There three main things I want to do before I graduate. I want to intern for the CCLC which would be the best thing ever in the world. The second thing is to study abroad for a year or a semester, I don't know yet, but I know I want to do something out of the ordinary. Also I want to do that internship at D.C. for the summer which I really wanted to do, but my GPA wasn't that great.

I don't know what the future holds for me, but I know that something is out there. I know that with what ever I do I will succeed to the fullest extent! Love life!

what's a woman to do?

I can't it's happening, I'm going to graduate. Nothing is going to get in my way, I have a tough time telling my parents that some of my classes aren't going the way they are suppose to, but I'm going to office hours to talk to my professor and it seems to be working, I got a B! on my POLS 413 class and I know that other people got higher scores, but I don't care because I'm AWESOME!

I'm kind of nervous, I have to apply to graduate in May and I know I'm putting it off. I don't know what I'm going to do after graduation? YICKS!!!!

I don't want to live with my parents or with a roommate, well maybe Amanda LOL. I have to look after myself, I can't depend on anyone but myself. Everything that I do from now on is for myself and even though I can ask for help when ever I need it I just know I have to do it.

I don't know what I'm going to do if they don't offer my classes next semester! stupid budget cuts!!!! So hopefully by April 13th they have my classes that i need ugh!

overview

For the past two weeks i have been thinking of my future, including my future in love, education, or just life in general. I sit down on my chair at the CCLC and i see all that is around me, everyone that knows my name, knows a little bit about me, even the people who i don't know very well. I feel so comfortable around that place, it's a home away from home. I want to do so much at Chico State, I want to do things I never thought I would want to do like MUN, be an intern for the CCLC.

In High School, I got into ASB my senior year and i felt that I missed out in a lot not joining sooner. Now in college I want to explore I want to do so many things in a year and I know it seems like a lot, but I want to do it all. I want to graduate on time and I want to start my life and rejoin the population of San Jose, go to Grad school and excel in my degree.

I see old classmates from High School and older classmates, living their lives, getting married, having kids, being in long lasting relationships and I can't help but think about it and I'm not scared like I used to be, but I want to do my living, I'm to young to to tied down. Fall in love with the right person and spend the rest of my life with them is at the top of my list and I feel I have found someone that maybe not now, but in the future could fill that part of my life. Damn, I'm thinking to much, I'm so ahead of the game right now. I need to think of the present, I'm afraid to think of the future because it never turns out the way I wish it could be.

It's scary to feel like this, everyday I let myself open up more to him and yes I am scared because the last time, it just hurt so much. I know I'm falling head over heals for him and I can't stop myself. Everytime I let myself love someone, God always seems to take them away from me. Maybe he has matured and maybe he has changed for the better, but now there's an obstacle between us. It's not the distance, its his hobby. I know I'm going to hate that damn sport! I'm going to hate it with a passion, but if you can't beat them, join them! =D

I don't know what the future holds for me, but with life the going the way it is, it pretty much going to just enjoy the ride.

Future!

As my semesters come to an end I have been looking towards the future. What will I be doing after I graduate? What job will I have? Will I be happy?

Today was a really boring day, but I thought I would get right to it and look for what is out there, I began with careers, at this point, with the economy the way it is I hope to get a job for the government: working in an office for a politician (maybe) anythin is possible. Then after looking for jobs, I went on the hunt for an apartment, but from a book Amanda got be I remembered that it is better to own a house then rent because in the end you are going to paying for expensise. So I looked for houses which are SUPER cheap! I was shocked. I really dont want to live in a ghetto area and I want my house to be super nice. Just talking about it makes me happy. I have so many goals to fill and I know there are a lot of expensise when it comes to owning a house, but I think if I save and be smart about my money then I can really get the things that I want more in life.

It has been a really slow day, maybe its the OBAMA air, but I feel that I can achieve anything I set my mind to and I know I can do it!

Si Se Puede!