In High School, I got into ASB my senior year and i felt that I missed out in a lot not joining sooner. Now in college I want to explore I want to do so many things in a year and I know it seems like a lot, but I want to do it all. I want to graduate on time and I want to start my life and rejoin the population of San Jose, go to Grad school and excel in my degree.
I see old classmates from High School and older classmates, living their lives, getting married, having kids, being in long lasting relationships and I can't help but think about it and I'm not scared like I used to be, but I want to do my living, I'm to young to to tied down. Fall in love with the right person and spend the rest of my life with them is at the top of my list and I feel I have found someone that maybe not now, but in the future could fill that part of my life. Damn, I'm thinking to much, I'm so ahead of the game right now. I need to think of the present, I'm afraid to think of the future because it never turns out the way I wish it could be.
It's scary to feel like this, everyday I let myself open up more to him and yes I am scared because the last time, it just hurt so much. I know I'm falling head over heals for him and I can't stop myself. Everytime I let myself love someone, God always seems to take them away from me. Maybe he has matured and maybe he has changed for the better, but now there's an obstacle between us. It's not the distance, its his hobby. I know I'm going to hate that damn sport! I'm going to hate it with a passion, but if you can't beat them, join them! =D
I don't know what the future holds for me, but with life the going the way it is, it pretty much going to just enjoy the ride.
oh jeannine for a second there i thought this was something i wrote cus you sound like me. well i cant speak for him but what i can say is that maybe you guys can work around this hobby of his and find a way that both of you can be happu with. i know its not going to be easy but you wont know till you try. and if things dont work out then it doesnt work out. no worries though cus there is always someone out there for everyone and you'll find him. maybe not soon but you will. and that goes the same for me as well. but theres one thing you can always count on to be there and thats ME!!! haha so cheer up hey at least he talked to you about it and opened up. dont think too much (TRUST ME) it will make you go crazy and you do not want that. besides boys are lame and stupid no need to waste time with them. we're still young we need to worry about this when we're about 29/30 ha then we're in trouble! hahaha!!!! oh well to the bars if all else fails. maybe we should have backup friends. like in friends when they have backups. i call sal! hahaa
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